Blue Sky for Brekafast

When you close your eyes and imagine what you look like, a certain image come to mind. Whatever it may be; that is what you perceive yourself to look like. I picture myself with a really short haircut, and a red bathing suit on at the beach somewhere. But then thinking about that image, that is not really what I look like. I am probably 17 or so in my image. I dont even have facial fair. That is what I conjure up for some reason though. I think that many people would do a similar thing and picture themselves from an earlier age, which brings up the struggle of who one thinks they are vs. who they actually are. 

It is easy for me because I am just coming off of a 5 week vacation, so there is a lot of time to sit and just think and relax, but I am starting to come to the realization that who I am is not who I have always been. I think there are some winds on the horizon that will revel the true test of character. And I think that certain values I used to hold as true are, changing. Im not really valuing others views of myself as as important. And being the center of attention is not really as much of a priority in my life as it was for most of my childhood. For me just sitting back now and let other people sort of come to the front of the stage, is totally fine, and almost preferable. 

I am also starting to realize why people drift apart after college. College sort of holds everyone in with a boundary per say, but once that gate is lifted people can basically do whatever they want. And you soon realize that people have completely different agendas, and value totally different things. It is funny how two people can look at the same situation and think of completely different things.

Life is full of choices, that is what makes it so special. But I am sort of confused now at the choices I have been presented with. And going forward is a leap of faith, I really have no idea what will happen but I know things will work out, just really don't know what exactly will work out.

This also marks a crossroads for me where people who have been such main characters in my story the past few chapters are now getting phased out for whatever reason. But it is like at the end of a movie where the characters sort of know they aren't going to be with each other in the sequel, but they are trying to still finish out what they have to do in the movie. People who were once so close, can drift away when different things become a priority in people's lives. 

It is exciting while at the same time sort of scary. But that is life I guess..