SANDYYYYY

Perfect Hurricane Day

During the last big hurricane that hit Massachusetts, Irene, in the summer of 2011, I ventured my way down to Bridgewater, Mass to visit Bri. This is before we were dating, but the adventures were still nonetheless us. The feeling you get around someone when you are courting them is a very unique feeling. You want to be open and be yourself, but at the same time, shying away from anything that might make the other person think, "Who the hell is this person?"

There was a state wide warning urging people to stay away from the beaches and oceans because of high winds and flooding. So of course we decided that heading to the beach would be a perfect idea. We went out for a "Hurricane Drive"  and there were so many trees knocked down that it was hard to drive around town because so many roads had been blocked off because of debree. So along with Bri's best friend Amanda, we drove from Bridgewater to Plymouth.

The beach was really cool that we went to, you know one of those great East Coast beaches that is really long and wide. It was so cold and the wind was probably upwards of 60 MPH, meaning the sand was blowing everywhere and felt like a deadly weapon upon touching the skin. So I thought that the only thing to do that made sense to avoid the sand pellets was to go for a swim! Bri and Amanda must have thought I was crazy swimming in a hurricane, but heck, it's what us Parsons do. (I always wondered what they were saying about me as I was off frolicking in the water.)

But we came back to Bridgewater after the storm and relaxed at Bri's house and had sick snacks and had a nice storm day.

This is Sandy, an epic storm, some calling it the biggest hurrican in a while.

This is exactly how I would want to spend a hurricane day this year if i was with the one Brianna Kelliher.

6am: wake up to an early alarm to check how the storm is outside. Give B a little kiss because she would obviously still be passed out. And go and get breakfast all prepped and put the coffee pot on.

8am: B is still passed out.

9am: I get up and go get a BIG breakfast going, bacon, omelets, toast, home fries, pulpy orange juice, maybe some pancakes.

930am: Go back and get Bri and pretend like I was just waking up for the first time, and complain of being starving and wanting a huge breakfast. 

10am. head to the kitchen and make Bri and great breakfast, put on some good music and enjoy the storm with a great feast. 

11am: I think a TV marathon is in order, some couples pride themselves on movie and TV watching together, I think B and I have watched like 2 total movies together and no television. So on a hurricane day this has to change. I think 24 is in order. Bri would love it because of the intensity, there are kidnapping, and it involves terrorists. 

1pm: After a few episodes, I would obviously get restless, and crave some hot chocolate. I don't think any drink is better on bad weather days. I think this would be a good time to bring back an old Bri and Jeff tradition, Monopoly. It can be played while other things are going on so a nice competitive game of monopoly seems in order on a Hurricane Day.

3pm: After smoking B in Monopoly (obviously) and continuing my undefeated streak alive. I think a good lunch and nap relax are in order. Driving around in a hurricane is something that is fun because it is sort of dangerous. So the little Toyota corolla will have to be tested again, and I think a nice Deli sandwich would sound perfect on a stormy day.

4pm. So after getting awkwardly full at lunch, a nice relaxing nap would be in order. Extra blankets would definatly be needed for extra comfort in such a storm. 

6pm. Wow what a nap! Back to the 24 marathon. I think a bottle of wine is in order as well! Hurricane nights go well with Cabernet Savignon. 

8pm: There aren't too many things better than having a few "B" glasses of wine and making a nice dinner together. Something I have been totally craving are the personal size rosted stuffed chickens from Trader Joe's. Bri is a master of making salads so I would leave that to her. I want to have a magical dinner just loving everywhere and enjoying an amazing together. 

10pm: After dinner, I think a few more episodes of 24 are in order while just laying on the couch loving and kinda forgetting what is happening, but not caring because the moment is so perfect.

It is crazy to think that 8000 miles can seperate two people who love so much. Bri you are the girl of my dream and i hope I have thousands of days like this in my life with you 

Bonus Saturday Blog

It has been about 175 days since I was with my girlfriend and the time has been flying by. My heart still continues to learn how to love in way I couldn't have imagined while in Baltimore. Our love is growing and maturing in ways I didn't see coming. I think the maturity and independence that being halfway across the world can help you to learn will allow this to develop and continue to grow into something special. B, you make my days worth living and motivate me to be the person I want to be.

Blue Sky for Brekafast

When you close your eyes and imagine what you look like, a certain image come to mind. Whatever it may be; that is what you perceive yourself to look like. I picture myself with a really short haircut, and a red bathing suit on at the beach somewhere. But then thinking about that image, that is not really what I look like. I am probably 17 or so in my image. I dont even have facial fair. That is what I conjure up for some reason though. I think that many people would do a similar thing and picture themselves from an earlier age, which brings up the struggle of who one thinks they are vs. who they actually are. 

It is easy for me because I am just coming off of a 5 week vacation, so there is a lot of time to sit and just think and relax, but I am starting to come to the realization that who I am is not who I have always been. I think there are some winds on the horizon that will revel the true test of character. And I think that certain values I used to hold as true are, changing. Im not really valuing others views of myself as as important. And being the center of attention is not really as much of a priority in my life as it was for most of my childhood. For me just sitting back now and let other people sort of come to the front of the stage, is totally fine, and almost preferable. 

I am also starting to realize why people drift apart after college. College sort of holds everyone in with a boundary per say, but once that gate is lifted people can basically do whatever they want. And you soon realize that people have completely different agendas, and value totally different things. It is funny how two people can look at the same situation and think of completely different things.

Life is full of choices, that is what makes it so special. But I am sort of confused now at the choices I have been presented with. And going forward is a leap of faith, I really have no idea what will happen but I know things will work out, just really don't know what exactly will work out.

This also marks a crossroads for me where people who have been such main characters in my story the past few chapters are now getting phased out for whatever reason. But it is like at the end of a movie where the characters sort of know they aren't going to be with each other in the sequel, but they are trying to still finish out what they have to do in the movie. People who were once so close, can drift away when different things become a priority in people's lives. 

It is exciting while at the same time sort of scary. But that is life I guess..

First Day of My Second Semester

..This is a jam. Am I just foreign to american music now? 

There are of course tons of moments when you miss someone who is halfway across the world, but the time where I miss the most is when I want a little pat on the back. When I have something going on like a new day of teaching, and I know I'm going to go in there and do well, but still want that great breakfast and morning kiss just to get a little more confidence and to know that I'm not alone when starting my day. 

I love doing some pretty cool things, but I also love knowing that you have someone who you actually want to tell everything to. 

Into the Looking Glass.

"The World Has Turned and Left Me Here" By Weezer. 

 
Is there a breaking point where I think things will slow down and I will truly accept myself?

I think that is the point of life sort of. I think that most people wake up to try to become fully content with things, while trying to do some cool things along the way. Of course I would say that I am fully content with things right now in life, and that I am good enough for me, I mean I want to say that. I try to give of the impression a lot of the time that thats the way things are. But honestly I think there are some critical decisions where I missed crucial advice about something and might have made a decision where an I "couldn't believe that was me" kind of moment occurred. I'm sure it's not just me, but I feel that there are several seemingly unimportant, but actually incredibly huge moments that I feel In my own consciousness I sort of overlooked. Somethings are much more important than others. Like one little decision let the flood gates open, but that's life i guess. Rolling with the punches as they come. 
I don't want to say that I live in "my own bubble" a lot of the time, but I do think I, like many people, shape their memories in a way that might be be perceived differently by someone else. Meaning, overlooking negative experiences and only focusing on the positive ones. But that can sometimes can be problematic, like anything else, when pushed to an extreme. 
But I still feel a little on edge about things. I don't know exactly why, maybe just living thousands of miles from home and   not being sure on my next move can cause some uneasy feelings. Recently, life has sort of been reminding me of a movie. Like when in a really good movie, about an hour and a half in, when there is a lull for a bit, and as the viewer you are DYING to know what happens next. That is where I think I am right now. On one hand it is a really cool feeling. But at this point in life at 22 years old, I really don't know if I am good enough for myself know because I am changing and developing every day, so I don't even know exactly who I want to be. So I think this chapter of life is moving a little to quickly to say If I am truly good enough for myself because I still have so much left in life that I would like to do, rather am going to do, and places I want to go, and great late talks had, and nights of having one too many glasses of wine. So I think I have a lot more potential with who I want to become. I love who I am now, I have actually always loved Jeff Parsons. It's a humbling feeling when you can love the good and the bad, or positive and negative things about your self. It is vitally important to love yourself and to be happy with who you are and being content with how the cards were dealt. But honestly, I think I will be more content with things I when get more recognition from others. How you view yourself is ultimately important, but being viewed by others is important too, just the ways things are I guess. But things have been moving pretty quickly and the sand is still floating around. Things haven't settled yet, so I guess I am waiting to see how things look when the sand settles back to the bottom.

When will you be good enough for you? Is there some breaking point where you will accept everything about yourself?

This might be a few years away..

 With young adolescents, adolescents, young adulthood, and adulthood, there is always some sort of self consciousness that lingers. And the thought that what your doing might not be the "right" thing to do, whatever that means. And the notion that will those around you stick around when your decisions might be different from others? But I mean of course I want more, everyone does. But right now, I honestly am so happy with myself and the things I have ben able to do over the years. I mean I'm living in Bangkok where it is sunny every day, am playing on a competitive international lacrosse team, have a beautiful girlfriend who makes me proud every single day, and a smile on my face when I wake up, in my book, it could get a lot worse. 

Does anyone ever truly accept themselves? or are some people just really good at faking that they totally accept themselves? I think we all fall somewhere in between and try to live in a way where we can look back and respect the decisions that we made.

Life isn't about waiting..

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.


I was thinking the other day, just one of those introspective looks that sort of happens on the way home after a long trip. Where there is so much to debrief about, and when crazy thoughts come to the surface. Dr. Seuss says that sometimes in life, for whatever reason, people fade into the waiting place. I sort of picture it as the place where you only tell stories about fun times you had, or times when you predict what will always happen in the future, while the whole time almost ignoring the present. Almost like those times in life when you look back and felt like a month just slipped away. I almost want to feel very depressed about these times, but I guess they are natural. Not every moment can be super lively, and always full of adventures. 

Especially during a long distance relationship life can feel like you're in the waiting place. Where some thing just sort of blur together because of such a heightened anticipation. With Skype and all, it is really easy to communicate so it can almost feel like you are sitting right next to the person during a 3 hour skype conversation. And that is such a tease experience, but I cherish it so much and am waiting until that feeling can become real. But as we all know, distance is a crazy thing, if can feel so different depending on when you are perceiving it. And when distance seems far that is where the waiting zone can develop. 

But not allowing idle time to take over is something that makes distance not seem so far away. Avoiding the waiting time will make things so much easier. Bri is taking on running as a new hobby which is awesome and just participated in a 4 person group marathon, which is pretty awesome. Taking on things that productively "occupy the waiting place.." is what is going to make the next 7 months not so bad..

Cheers to taking backroads, always trying become a better person, making your bed in the morning and all those other little things that can make someone perfect. 

Living life from a backpack..

The life of a backpacker is very simple. There aren't many rules, and everything you need can be found in your trekking bag. When you set of for your destination you have to make sure you have everything that you are going to need. Anything can happen when you are travelling. Heck, you can get held up by a supposed undercover Vietnamese cop with a tazer demanding that you give him $500.

 But I really do love the mystery of travelling. Having no idea where you are going to stay, let alone what city you might go to is a freeing feeling that most people don't get to experience. 

The open road leads to an open mind where thoughts can wander and love can resonate to the surface. Things that really matter are truly recognized, and things that don't are left behind in the dust. I don't know a better feeling that sitting on the beach with a good book, and nothing else to think about. 

Off to visit the sand dunes of Mun Ne....